These Indians are Crazy!

Look carefully at Mr. M.S. Golwalker. This guy entered himself in a Rabindranath Tagore look alike contest back in the thirties and lost. Disgruntled with the failure of society to accept him as a real look-alike, he decided to become a loving nationalist and founded the RSS.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, also known as the let's-randomly-burn-and-kill-in-the-name-of-hinduism, is an illustrious organisation that propagates Mr. Golwalker's brilliant ideals of Hinduism and Nationalism. Some of which I shall reproduce below

"Even today, the demoniac forces of evil are strutting about the world stage, armed with world destructive weapons and threatening the very future of humanity. It is only on the strength of our philosophy which steels our will to win that we can inspire mankind to face this new challenge of adharma."

See how Bush Jr. pales in comparison to our inspired hero? And isn't the term 'world destructive weapons' much cooler than weapons of mass destruction.

"The national life in Bharat is therefore the Hindu National Life."

"It has been the tragic lesson of the history of many a country in the world that the hostile elements within the country pose a far greater menace to national security than aggressors from outside. Unfortunately, this first lesson of national security has been the one thing, which has been consistently ignored in our country ever since the British left this land. Wishful thinking born out of lack of courage to face realities, mouthing of high-sounding slogans by the persons at the helm of affairs to cover up the tragedies overtaking us one after another, and opportunistic alliances of parties and groups with the hostile elements to further their narrow self-interests, have all combined to make the threat of internal subversion of our national freedom and security very acute and real."

And so on and on.

How joyous for us to have such individuals as founders of our political organisations. Let's all be one big happy parivar like the Sangh parivar. Come now let's burn tyres and make merry.

WTF? This guy is billed on an event because he is a GOAN HEARTTHROB? Is that some sort of qualification? And what does he perform? Will there be ambulances waiting to rush members of the audience who will suffer from throbbing of the heart?

Perhaps Edgar Allen Poe could write a story on him - the throbbing heart!

Today the traffic signal at the Kamraj Road - St. John's Road junction decided to malfunction. It would turn green and then five seconds later turn red again and gleefully watch motorists in the middle of the road be cut off by impatient drivers from the perpendicular road.

It doesn't take much for Indians to make up their own road rules. My favourite being
"Drivers may only be driving on the foothpath incase of full road being traffic-jammed or maybe road cutting work is going on."
So careening down the foothpath was the way of the day. Now tell me, in which other country could you do this and not get a ticket?

Another oft used road rule is the one that states "it is mandatory to sound horn ok when traffic signal is turning to orange colour."
In fact it's good etiquette to sound horn ok all the time. However, if you don't have a really good quality horn you can sound ok horn. No one minds really.

It is also mandatory to put the bottle to the throttle as soon as the traffic signal shows any indication of turning green.

Policemen like bananas when they're taking a break from directing traffic. This is true: I saw one of them coercing a hapless fruit vendor to give him free bananas once.

The best way to cross a traffic junction when the lights decide to malfunction is to inch one's way slowly to the other side, thus gradually and decidedly cutting off the traffic from the perpendicular. This eventually leads to a deadlock, but deadlocks are always a good time to catch up on some sleep.

It's absolute anarchy. Wheeeee for Wendetta!

When I was a kid, one of the many things I wanted to be when I grew up was an auto driver who wouldn't charge one and a half meter. Obviously that never panned out cause you can't get a license to drive an auto-rickshaw unless you sign a contract saying you will surely charge one and half at least thrice a day.

I would have liked riding recklessly in an auto, swerving throughtraffic. I would put up one of those cool lines on the back of my rickshaw, like
"Trust a snake but never trust a woman"
Or
"Live like Moula Ali
Die like Moula Hussain"

Ha!

Last afternoon I was in one of these aforementioned crazy vehicles when we zipped past a truck that transported various kinds of fixtures from lights and fans to geysers and the like. The company was called Parmanand Fixtures. I don't know if that was deliberate.

Meanwhile on M.G. Road anti-Hu Jintao protests were bringing traffic proceedings to a halt (my auto-wallah still managed to get me through to my destination). Our mongoloid friends from neighbouring Tibet had gathered to demand their freedom from China's communist wiles.

Yesterday was also National Disaster Reduction Day. I wonder if they have a committee to come up with these 'special days'. To promote Disaster awareness and reduction there were banners and hoardings all across M.G. Road, with such catchy lines as "Develop will to survive and help others in case of disaster"
But shouldn't we be trying to ensure that the disaster doesn't occur rather than remedy an accident with will power?

Across one of these disastrous hoardings was another banner "Arunachal Pradesh is an integral part of India not China." And yet another that said "Negotiations with China is dangerous for India." One is reminded of Nehru's famous quote - "India China Bye Bye"

Well anyways I'm off to Kushalnagar this weekend to see the monastery. If the monks have started an online trading portal it would be called monk e-business.

Question of the day: Hu stole the cookie from the cookie jar?